Nope. It’s NOT Depression.

Sometimes Winter can become valuable as an assistant to helping me sort myself.  Some would tend to claim it is depression I’m going through.  But I know too differently.  It is a series of events that has me in the place where I am at this day.  And the sorting has it all making so much sense.

Turning 50 became a major mile marker in my life.  I gained a sense of inner-strength that I have now found very necessary. And quite enjoyable…at times. 😉  (shhhh….!)  I’ve lived half a century.  Actually – I turn 56 this year.  It’s time for the world to accept the fact as much as I have.  I have earned my right to the following.

I have earned my right to be as honest as I want… no matter how uncomfortable it may feel to others.  I have earned my right to preach common sense.  I don’t have to take ugly crap from anything…or anyone.  I don’t have to settle for less.  I don’t have to choose crumbs.  I don’t have to be last.  And I don’t have to hold someone else’s problems in my lap when they try forcing them upon me… trying to make me own them.

I’m not your mother!  Go find her.  If she’s not willing and/or able… God is your Father.  I KNOW He’s around.

Age is like a car.  High mileage requires maintenance and occasional overhauls.  Lately… half the brain says it wants to get up and take care of the list.  The other half says, “Screw you.

And there’s several reasons.  One of them being the fact that I’ve not been able to get my family doctor to prescribe a Thyroid assistant… despite the complete Abdominal Hysterectomy… Menopause… extreme fluctuation in weight gain and loss… as well as a few other significant red flags… and some minor things that can be considered ‘normal wear and tear’.

I managed to get around that by taking a supplement called Tri-Iodine.  And within a couple weeks I was feeling so much better.  I had vigor back.  I had that ‘get up and go’ return inside my whole being.  The memory was feeling healthy, again.  I was losing weight.  The chronic pain throughout my body felt relief.  Handling the cattle by myself became much easier… despite the landscape around this place.

But the last three attempts have failed when Dwayne has checked at the only local health food store where we’ve been able to find the supplement.  For some reason… they just don’t appear to pay close attention to re-stocking their inventory.

However… I must admit… Buyer’s Regret over choosing this place for living and raising Dexters embedded itself very strongly back in 2010.  I’m so irritated and fed up with living here.  It has become so obvious to us that we will not be able to grow here.  We need more land.  We need more facilities for our animals.  And we need more appropriate facilities to house all our animals when necessary.

We can handle what we have.  But it is such a challenge with the charming… yet… antiquated means for our goal.  The hardest part is having only 2 people aged 50 and over… with 1 taking off every 4 days… to go work a 12-hour shift… 2 counties away.

We’ve been pouring every penny into these cattle… one way or another.  We’ve purchased the last female we intend for the herd… until we get relocated.  I’m at the point where I want anything born with a pair here… going in the freezer…. Cut/banded or not.

I’m forever hearing all the fear factor about butchering bulls.  We had to butcher a 17-month-old bull in 2013.  We were so amazed by the cuts of beef we ended up with in our freezer.  Enough that we’ve decided we will be butchering whole sides of 16-month-old bulls for our freezer.  All the Dexter Beef we’ve butchered for our freezer has been wonderful.  But the finish on that bull… along with the difference in muscle structure from the natural hormones being left intact… wow.

I get the issue about ease with raising steers instead… for the beef.  But we’re willing and able.  Lucky for us… we have a Butcher that lets us bring our animals later in the afternoons on the day prior to slaughter.  It gives the animal opportunity to calm down and relax… which aides in tenderness of the beef.

We will continue to band a few others that are slaughtered.  But that’s because we keep horns on steers for guarding our babies.  Somebody was stupid enough to try stealing Aon during the night last year… while he was left wearing a combo halter around the clock for training.

Just because Irish Dexter Cattle are smaller than the standard breeds does not mean they’re any weaker.  And I hope those that tried taking Aon learned that lesson.

They thought they’d get lucky by going through the gate of our back paddock that accesses our hay field.  Dwayne had taken down fencing around the hay field to set up new fencing for rotational grazing.  Apparently… they were shockingly surprised… by the protectiveness that comes out of Dexter Steers with horns.  And that coincides right along with the noise they can all make to alarm us.

I found Aon huddled between Storm and Dodger.  And he was more than willing to let me take him back to his mother!

Trying to take on selling offspring at this time is too much for me.  I handle everything around here… 7 days a week.  I get some help every 4 days.  But I also have the job of… Homemaker.  Such title is found in the Dictionary.  Therefore, such title is chosen for acknowledgement by the outside Corporate World… without any serious contemplation pertaining to the entire job description.

I prefer the job title of… Domestic Diva.  Either way… the Corporate World sees that job as holding no value because I do not receive financial income.

Of course… we’ve all seen the value… on several sides… for which the Corporate World has found more value in… Prostitution.  Makes me feel I missed my calling… at times.  But that’s another blog posting.  (“Cows or Cash?  Eat… or… Take their money?!”)

Anyway… for now… I’m gonna hop over to Amazon.com today… and cave in to that shipping charge.  I really need that Tri-Iodine.  A few clones wouldn’t hurt.  Maybe another 12 hours in each day.

Extra help is definitely on the list for the new place.

*** Promotion of any products on this blog are endorsed by only the author and none other.

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About Three Cedars Irish Dexters

With gorgeous views from up on a hill in the middle of a Holler, tucked quietly in the beauty of East Tennessee - we raise Dexter Cattle - an adventure birthed in April, 2012 with the ultimate goal of spoiling and pampering every 4-legged ' mooovelous ' soul living here with us!
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